AN ACRE OF CHAOS aka Gramma ZZ’s mind

Would she look like this.

I was going through my webshot stuff and went through some other albums people had uploaded. This is a little girl and her twin sister. I was struck by the likeness of Cayden..

Was that awful stuff she just fed me.

And what a good boy he was today. I was actually able to get a lot accomplished while he played on the floor with his toys. Seven months is a great age especially now that he can entertain himself for more than a few minutes.

with his son Cayden, my second grandson.

Being as I’m in a gramma mood today, here is my second born son (for anybody new to stopping by and visiting my blog)…with my first grandchild, Hunt. (My husband is a second son, hence the title)…

Holly Coriana, my granddaughter is now officially walking. She turns 1 year old on 02/24. This is Holly with her daddy, Joel. Joel is my first born son. I am one proud gramma.

Finally found out the sex of my newest grandchild. Seth, in terms of birth order, is my third son. He and his wife Annika will be having their first child in June. This morning we met at the doctors’ office for the sonogram which determined that I will have a second granddaughter. What a great balance…two grandsons and two granddaughters. Now, all four of my sons have given me a grandchild. I am SO thrilled today with the news. Another grandson would have been great but having another granddaughter is SIMPLY MARVELOUS!!! Thanks kids!!

DOING THE HAPPY GRAMMA DANCE…DOING THE HAPPY GRAMMA DANCE….AND STILL DANCING.

I have better pictures of him on my desktop computer, but since I am all cozy in my bed with my laptop, I will post the only one I have saved on this computer.

I had four small kids and married, and my brother Bill was single. He would stop by the house once in awhile all excited about his latest invention. I would get the kids in bed, pour the wine, and Bill and I would sit and talk until late into the night.

He also loved to talk about things of spirit and mystery. Well I did too!! We could spend all night visiting and finish off a gallon of wine. He could sleep it off in the morning and I had to wake up to babies who needed my attention. But I loved those nights…

Bill was a complex person and I think if he had actually been seen and possibly tested, he might have been diagnosed as bipolar.

Many times, after coming over and visiting quite often, he would then disappear and be reclusive for several weeks or months. He was a different person and I couldn’t reach that other person. I could barely talk to him on the phone because he was a stranger during those times. After several weeks went by, there he would be again, ringing the doorbell, dropping in all excited about his latest inventions or interest…we would drink wine and visit late into the night and I would feel that the Bill I knew was back….

I had been painting with acrylics for about a month. I would simply start smudging paint on paper and then would allow the image that would emerge to BE the painting I was working on. I started to see a profile emerge and it looked like my brother. The headdress, minus the obvious photo manipulation later (the sparkly part) also just kind of formed out of the smudging of paint. I immediately saw Bill’s profile. So, I just went with it and completed it in photoshop with some adornment to bring out the headdress. Bill while alive, had a fondness for all things western and ended up living in Tombstone, Arizona, before he died. So was he an indian or was he a cowboy in his soul…Actually he was an inventor…truly…but worked as a plumber for a living. He had a brilliant mind and a troubled soul…but was a great spirit…

This was posted on my One Acre Plot blog which I don’t have anymore. This is another one I wanted to bring over to this blog. He died on 1-29-1998. Today is my son Sam’s birthday and Bill, his uncle died on Sam’s birthday in 1998. Bill was my younger brother. He was eight years younger than I and ten years younger than my sister.

This is a colored pencil drawing I painted in early 2006.

Bill was 39 when he died. He told me for years he would never live to see 40. Self fulfilling prophecy I suppose!

Sam, my son, turned 28 today. I can never celebrate Sam’s birthday without remembering my brother’s death.

I sure miss you Bill and still wonder why??

The first year he died I felt him around a lot. He even wrote my name in the dust that was on my piano. I knew it was him. No one else was home. It was on my birthday and I was really sad and depressed. I hadn’t felt the full scope of grief until then and for some reason the day of my birthday, it hit me hard. Probably because his birthday was on the 5th and mine was on the 7th of December, so it brought up a lot of memories.

So why I wonder, have I not felt his presence around in so long. Do those who leave us behind, slowly lose the connection they had to us when in their bodies. I believe that life goes on. I don’t believe that death brings an end to consciousness…but..when such a long time passes and there is no sense of him around anymore, I really want to know where he is, what is he doing and why doesn’t he stop by once in awhile and let me know he’s okay.

Okay Bill, I expect a great contact dream tonight…after all it’s the anniversary of when you decided to leave. I have remembered you…do you remember me?

Oh yes!!! Almost forgot. A Happy Anniversary to Tom and Rebecca. That is another reason I remember the 29th of January. So many significant reasons why this date is memorable to me.

This is so fun. I’m gonna love BE-ing me.

And cooperation is a very important principle to remember. The book said it would make life easier.

Contemplating the rules of this planet. How do we maneuver around with these heavy bodies. Let’s see what the guide book says.

This should be an interesting trip. I guess I should hide my wings.

When I lost my One Acre Plot blog (through some kind of screw up between blogger and me)…I had on a lot of photos that I want to put up on a blog somwhere again. Some of my favorites included a few of these of Hunt and McKenna…)

For some reason this looks like the beginning buds of a small little innocent love. They are so happy to be in each others’ presence. Just two little spirits playing in the fields of matter.

I am now invisible. I am now invisible. Hunt cannot see me. I am now invisible.